Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Adoption Blogger Interview Project

I am so very excited to be a part of the Adoption Blogger Interview Project again. This is my 2nd year I have done the project and it's such a wonderful way to meet other bloggers who have been touched by adoption.
This year I was paired with another adoptive mom that lives CLEAR across the world from me. How cool that we share the same experiences of adopting yet our journeys are so different.
So....with out further wait....let me introduce you to
Sara who blogs at Lolly Mixed Bag
Tell me about your family. I know your daughter is adopted - do you
have other children? If so are they also adopted?

Grace is our only child and she is 2 1/2. We brought her home when she was 7 months of age. She spent that first 7 months with beautiful foster parents who as it turned out only live 10 minutes drive from us! Glenn & I have been together since we were 21 (35 now) and we have been married 10 years next year. We tried for 10 years to have a family of our own. a few years were spent on fertility treatments but we were always very comfortable with the idea of adoption so we chose to persue that. The process took a little less than 2 years for us and in Australia that is VERY fast. We have just begun the process for a second adoption, but it will be unlikely we will get placed a second time. Adoption is very hard in Australia. We live in the state of Victoria and there are only about 12 babies each year.
The one thing that stuck out on your blog was the difference
between US and Australian adoption...tell me about the things that are
different? What's good and what's bad about their requirements?
In Australia adoption is not private. All adoptions go through government agenices (Social Services, Human Services I think you would call it). All adoptions are also open. The only way they are closed is if the birth family requests no information or contact from the begining. Birth family may request up to 4 access visits and 4 letter exchanges per year (this is for my state Victoria, but this can vary from state to state). I think this really protects the birthmother, keeps her options open when at first she may not be able to make a decision if she would like to have access to her birth child. She can change her mind later as it is built into the legal adoption order. A birthmother cannot make the decision to relinquish her baby before birth. No baby will be placed with a Adoptive family before about 3 months and never until the periof of time has passed where a birth mother can change their mind (1 month) after going to court and formally relinquishing. They are in pre-adopt foster care. For infant adoption, I cannot fault how it is run in our country. It looks after the birthmother, child and adoptive family well.

Your relationship with your daughters birthmom is open - how is
that for you? How often do you see her? What are your hopes for the
future relationship with her?
We have a wonderful relationship with our daughters birthmother. We see her 4 times per year. We usually go to a park for an hour or two. Its easy, she loves to spend time playing with Grace and having a talk with us. Up until now a Social Worker has brought her to our visits. But our next visit in January will hopefully be our first one alone. We would like to reach a point in the furture where if she was comfortable enough we would like to have her over to our house for special occasions such as Grace's birthday. As Grace is from another culture to us we understand the importance of having a link with her birthfamily & cultural identity. (I have attached a photo for you to see as I do not post photos of our birthmum on the internet). We are only 2 years into what is a life long journey for us all, we have just been taking it one positive visit at a time. Our birthmum is so happy that her baby was placed with a loving parents and she is growning up a happy and confident little person. She has been able to finish high school and is now persuing her academic dreams at University. We feel very proud of her.

If you had a free day to spend with your family... no chores, no
errands...what would you do?

Beach! We love the beach : )
What's the cutest thing your daughter has done this week? What just
brings a smile to your face?
My 2 and 1/2 year old looked at me yesterday as I put the Dora the Exploer flower pot back on the shelf at the supermarket that she had snuck in my trolley and said, 'but mum, I really need it'.
If you want to read more of these great interviews check out


Nicki said...

It is interesting to read how the process works in different countries. I worked with an attorney who facilitated private adoptions (having adopted several children himself). For the most part, I generally worked on behalf of the birth mother, making sure her needs were met; the attorney, on the other hand, generally dealt with the adopting parents. I often think that we should have reached out more after the fact to the birth mother - but I suspect in most of our cases, the birth mother wanted to move on without reliving giving up her child.

Thanks for sharing this interview.

Kelly L said...

It's so interesting to see how adoption are done in other countries to me. I love hearing other positive stories of open adoption! Thank you for sharing!

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